omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
