How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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