We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
