Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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