i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
