She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
