Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
