he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
