whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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