you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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