Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
