I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
