ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
