Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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