Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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