k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
