i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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