is wine microwaveable?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize