that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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