Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
