I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
