she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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