Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize