I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
wanna go halves on a baby?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
