Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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