So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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