We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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