I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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