my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
