DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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