I hate your face
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
