Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
