i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
