I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
