airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
