she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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