i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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