Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
