btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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