I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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