I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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