Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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