Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
