my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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