Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
