Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
