could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize