..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
