People in love make me want to vomit
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
