summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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