I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
