It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
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I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
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If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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