5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
