so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
handjob tips. give me some.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
