AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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