at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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