So drunk, too bad you don't want this
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
