Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
