He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
