there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
